Explore Others Paths

Effective listening is especially important when others blow up or clam up.

When others move to silence or violence, we need to encourage them to retrace their "path to action" – how they arrived at their story. When others are sharing feelings or acting inappropriately, it's our job to make it safe for them to share their facts.

Exploring demands legitimate curiosity and a healthy respect for others. We shouldn't be waiting to disprove others or to jump all over their ideas. Instead, we should be sincere in our desire to learn.

The Silence to Violence Continuum

Many of us tend to toggle back and forth. As we try to deal with crucial conversations, we toggle between two ends of an unproductive continuum. We hold things inside by going silent until we can tolerate it no longer – then we drop a bomb. We may not become physically violent, but we do say things that attack the ideas and feelings of the other person. In other words, we "do violence" to the relationship.

The Crucial Conversations Dialogue Skills

Start With Heart > Learn To Look > Make It Safe > Master My Stories > STATE My Path > Explore Others Paths > Move To Action