Why Crucial Confrontations™?

Here’s What Makes the Best the Best

When others break a promise, violate an expectation or behave badly, top-rated employees:

• Know When to Speak Most of us are extremely creative when it comes to inventing excuses to avoid talking to someone who has broken a promise. Not top performers—they know how to analyze a problem, decide if it’s worthy of a confrontation, and then take the right action. Consequently, they step up to far more violated expectations than their less-skilled colleagues. Of course, they’re exceptionally skilled so when they do step up, they typically succeed—enhancing their confidence and encouraging them to speak up the next time. It’s the same old story—the rich get richer.
  
• Pick the Right Problem Most problems come in large bundles. A single infraction may include everything from a procedural violation to failure to keep a commitment to insubordination. Given the host of problems to deal with, which issue do you address? Low performers typically pick the easiest or least controversial problem—allowing the most important one to remain unresolved. Top performers are masters at recognizing the elements tied up in a single infraction, picking the most important issue, and then, once and for all, resolving the problem that really matters.
  
• Take Charge of Emotions When someone lets you down, you first become disappointed and then upset. Then, if you’re not careful, you carry these strong emotions into the confrontation. Dumbed-down by the effects of adrenaline, you don’t exactly shine. Top performers cut off their strong reactions at the source. They learn how to be curious rather than angry. They use their curiosity to propel them into a healthy confrontation rather than a futile and dangerous attempt to punish the guilty. Without doubt, top performers will address infractions, but they’ll never look abusive or out of control when they do.
• Avoid the Fundamental Attribution Error When you ask people why someone has broken a promise, the answer is predictable. They typically see others as thoughtless and selfish. They believe others behave badly because they take pleasure in causing pain. Top performers however, view the world differently. They ask: Are people capable of doing what you’ve asked them? Are their peers and managers supportive? Do others both encourage and enable? Finally, what role does the reward system, policies, and procedures play in either encouraging or enable the behavior? By bringing a more humane and yet sophisticated view to the problem, the socially adept are far better prepared to first diagnose and then solve broken promises.
• Master the “Hazardous Half Minute” Top performers set themselves apart from everyone else with their ability to immediately establish a healthy climate—despite the fact they’re talking about problems. During the first thirty seconds, they not only provide a clear and concise problem statement, but they do so in a way that makes it safe for the other person to talk openly and honestly. In short, they start each encounter on a healthy note.
• Avoid Groundhog Day If you want to separate the best from the rest, watch for this phenomenon. When employees repeat a mistake, do the individuals who are addressing the problem treat each infraction as if it were the first one? If they do, they live the life of the meteorologist Phil Connors who was forced to repeat the same day over and over again—until he got it right. We call this hellacious cycle, Groundhog Day. Savvy problem solvers avoid infective repetitions by treating each infraction with increasing levels of severity and urgency. First, the person violates a quality procedure, next they fail to live up to a promise, next they’re acting insubordinate, and so on. They never live Groundhog Day.
• Motivate without Using Power Most people believe that if they only had enough power, they could motivate just about anyone to do just about anything. And they’d be right. Of course, if they do wield power they may ruin their relationship and incur other long-term costs, but power can “motivate.” Skilled problem solvers rely on the power of persuasion, not the power of fear. Even when they do possess formal power, they rarely use it. They’re gifted at making the invisible visible. They do so by clearly and concisely explaining natural consequences that inform choice rather than mutter threats such as: “My way or the highway,” or the ever popular veiled threat: “Are you a team player?”
• Enable without Taking Over When people face ability barriers—making it difficult or even impossible to complete their promise—it’s tempting to rely on motivational techniques to encourage them to comply. Over time, this wears thin, and when the task is impossible, motivating is irrelevant anyway. Top performers are quick to help the individual come up with methods for reducing barriers. They’re skilled at creative problem solving and know the difference between enabling others and allowing them to get away with excuses.
• Stay on Track without Getting Conned As crucial confrontations unfold, it’s common for the person who caused the problem to side track or even hijack the discussion. They throw up smoke screens, do their best to deflect the blame, and skillfully turn the focus on the more trivial aspects of the infraction—taking the heat off themselves and in some cases, moving the conversation to a whole new topic. Top performers aren’t easily side-tracked. They’re adept at staying both focused and flexible. They know when and how to stay on the original topic, or if necessary, switch to a new and more urgent issue—without being drawn away from the original infraction.

 

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