Move to Action
When we finish a crucial conversation we often create a whole new set of challenges by not ending well.
We must learn to move from talking to achieving the results we've been after all along.
To avoid déjà vu dialogues, do two things:
- Decide how to decide. Will the decision be a command (it's already been made)? Will it be a product of consultation (everyone gives input, then a subset decides)? Will their be a vote, with majority rule? Or will the decision be made by consensus, where everyone must agree? To avoid violated expectations, the method of decision making must be clear to all.
- Agree on WWWF. Document Who will do What by When, and what Follow-up action will be taken. Then do it.
The Silence to Violence Continuum
Many of us tend to toggle back and forth. As we try to deal with crucial conversations, we toggle between two ends of an unproductive continuum. We hold things inside by going silent until we can tolerate it no longer – then we drop a bomb. We may not become physically violent, but we do say things that attack the ideas and feelings of the other person. In other words, we "do violence" to the relationship.
The Crucial Conversations Dialogue Skills
Start With Heart > Learn To Look > Make It Safe > Master My Stories > STATE My Path > Explore Others Paths > Move To Action